Ryan and Alicia's Adoption Site: October 2010

Come and get to know us...

This is our story: Ryan and I were set up on a blind date by my sister and his sister-in-law. I was living in Utah at the time and he was in Washington. We went on a fabulous date to dinner and an Arena football game. It was great and Ryan loved that I knew what was going on and loved sports. At the end of the date he asked if he could see me the next day before I left to go back to Utah. We played games with his family the next night and had a great time. We talked for a long time that night and wondered when we could see each other again. And he kissed me good night!

Ryan called me every day that week and one day he asked if I would go to a concert with him on a Tuesday night. I didn't think there was anyway that I could fly up and go, but I worked it out that I would fly there on Tuesday and fly back to Utah on Wednesday. It was great to see him again.

He flew to Utah a couple weeks after that. We were just hitting it off so well. One night as we were talking he opened up. I knew that he had had cancer and had been through so much a few years earlier. We had talked about that, but this night he went into much more depth--especially the side effects of all the treatments that he had undergone. He told me how he would probably never be able to have biological children and he asked how I felt about adoption. This kind of shocked me, but I cared about Ryan and wanted to pursue this relationship. I wasn't going to end things because of this news. And adoption had always appealed to me.

We continued our long distance relationship. In June, after about 6 weeks of going back and forth, I made the decision to move to Washington to be closer to him. Timing of the blind date was perfect so that I could make this decision. I had recently graduated from BYU and was working at two part time jobs that I could easily leave. In July I moved to Washington. I found a job and in August Ryan proposed.

We were married in October. From the first date to our wedding was not quite 6 months. I swore I would never do that, oh well, he was the right one, at the right time, in the right place.

We went on a cruise for our honeymoon. It was awesome!

After being married for about 6 months, we both individually decided that it was time to add to our family of two. We knew that we would need to see the fertility specialist and do in-vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to have a baby. As we went through the IVF treatments, we had all the faith in the world that it was going to happen. The doctor told us that there was not a very good chance, but we had faith. Unfortunately it didn’t work. We were completely heartbroken.

Over the next few months we had to grieve with the loss of the child we never had.

We eventually felt blessed that without being married a year, we knew that we were infertile and didn't have to deal with the month to month pain of not being pregnant. By the end of the year we were ready to start the adoption process. When we called LDS Family Services, they told us that we would have to wait until we had been married for two years before we could proceed. We asked for them to make a special exception, but they couldn't. So we waited.

Ryan and I filled out all the paperwork and did all the necessary things to get approved for adoption. After we were approved we told everyone that we knew that we were trying to adopt and asked them to help spread the news. A little over a year after we had been approved we got an email from my aunt who lives in another state. She told me that she knew someone that was pregnant and not married and was considering placing her son for adoption. My aunt had shared with her our blog and information. Our sweet Julie read it and felt like we were to be the parents of her little boy. She emailed a couple of days and we read the sweetest words: “I've read your blog and it really touched me. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I never felt much like it was supposed to be mine. Please let me know if you can consider adopting my son. I know you will be a great choice.” We immediately felt so peaceful. We started emailing back and forth and building a relationship with her. We visited her a few weeks later and she immediately felt like family. About 3 months after she contacted us for the first time, she called us to let us know that the baby was going to be born that day. We jumped on the next flight and made it to the hospital a few hours after our sweet baby Lucas was born.

We spent time in the hospital with Julie and we met Lucas’ birthfather. We had a great time getting to know him and his family. We really cherished the time that we got to spend with Julie and Scottie and their families. When Lucas was 11 days old we flew home to Washington. We were so happy to be a family of 3!

Lucas is such a happy boy. We love being his parents! He is now 2 years old. We are now hoping to add another child to our family. We want him to be a big brother.

We have met with our caseworker and filled all the necessary paperwork and completed the background checks. We are now approved for adoption and looking for our next child! We are so excited for what the future will bring!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." -Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin "Come What May, and Love It "

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Sneak Peek

Ryan's sister, Marianne, is an amazing photographer. She took some pictures of Lucas yesterday and they turned out so well.

This morning as I was feeding Lucas, I turned to Ryan and asked if he could have gotten cuter since the last time I fed him, because I think he was!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Home Sweet Home

Calm baby with all the commotion of meeting family

Jane (18 months) and Lucas

Happy Grandparents!

Our happy family

We made it home! Lucas was so great for the flight. He ate as we were taking off, then slept, and ate as we were landing. We were so happy we had a direct flight (and only because some sweet talking by Ryan to a customer service employee). We had many family members come to see Lucas at the airport and then also he met some other aunts, uncles, and cousins after.

We are so happy to be home!

I started another blog for Lucas and his updates.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

One week old

Lucas is one week old and is doing great. We feel so blessed to have him in our family. He is a great baby. Ryan had to go home on Monday, but will be back Friday. We can't wait! It has been hard being apart. We celebrated our 4th anniversary yesterday apart, so hopefully we will have a chance to celebrate it together.

We just got cleared by the Interstate Child Placement Compact (ICPC-adoption laws between the states) and so even though we could have gone home yesterday, we are waiting until Sunday. We are so excited to go home and our families couldn't be more thrilled!

We love baby Lucas!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Lucas Alexander story

Tuesday was my last day of work. I was so happy to be done and have a few days to get ready before I left for the baby. I slept in a little, exercised, and after I showered, Julie called. She told us that she would text us after her appointment. She was crying and scared because the doctor was nervous that the baby wasn't growing. They did a ultrasound and decided that she needed to go to the hospital and be induced. I asked her what she wanted me to do, and I said that we would get on the next plane. I called Ryan and he was just about to go into a test. He said that he would take his test and then immediately come home. I don't think he remembers anything on his test. I called my sister Nicole, she didn't answer, I texted her, she didn't answer. I needed someone, I was so stressed and trying to figure out what to do. I was so excited, but I was having a breakdown. I called Nicole again and she answered and said she would be over to help pack. Ryan's mom headed over as well. We got things packed and figured out a flight that worked well and didn't cost as much as we would have thought for being the same day. Ryan got home and we got everything ready. We got a call from the airline, the plane was delayed which meant we would miss our connecting flight. She said that we could stay overnight in Phoneix or leave the next day. I told her that the baby we were adopting was coming today and I needed to get there asap. She worked on getting me a ticket on another airline, it left an hour later, and got us there earlier, and it didn't cost the $1300 that it was online. We flew and surprisingly enough, I slept on the plane (I can sleep anywhere, anytime). When we landed in Salt Lake for our 45 minute layover, I got a text...Julie was at a 7. We had the next flight and got on thinking that by the time we landed the baby could have been born. We landed at 11:26 and I got a text saying the baby had been born. I called immediately. He had been born at 10:06 and was 5 lbs 13 oz. We got some pictures texted to us. He was so precious We were so excited. And so happy that baby and Julie were healthy.

We ran to the rental car place. We had made a reservation for a rental and we told them our situation and they upgraded us to a bigger car. (We saw the same girl that upgraded us today when we dropped off the car and showed her Lucas, she was very excited). We punched the hospital address into the GPS and headed over to the hospital. We met up with Julie's mom and she brought us into see Julie and the baby. It was such a beautiful sight. We couldn't stop smiling. It was amazing! We stayed for an hour or so. We talked about names and Julie mentioned that she really liked Lucas. One of our top names was Luke. We headed to my aunt and uncle's house around 2:30. We were in bed, but neither of us were asleep. Julie texted us at 3:30 saying that she had a long conversation with the baby and he liked the name Luke or Lucas. Ryan had just been thinking about Lucas and that is when we decided that was to be his name.

The next day was a very long day. We got to the hospital and there were a string of many visitors all day long. Scottie, the birth father, was there and we got to meet him and spend the whole day with him. We met so much of Julie's family as well as Scottie's. It was amazing. We talked about open adoption and how Lucas has so many people that love him so much. Scottie's mom and sister were just crying so much. They didn't think that they would ever see this little guy again. It was very emotional intense, but they really like us and believe that we will be great parents to Lucas. We had some alone time with Scottie and he told us that he had made the decision to place and was happy with his decision. He really liked us and said that it couldn't have been anyone else. It was a long and wonderful day. We were emotionally drained.

The nursing staff was so great. They all were aware of the adoption plan and accomodated us and made Julie so comfortable. We were so impressed. We spent the next several hours with Julie and no one else came. Lucas had his circumsion, so it was just Julie and Ryan and I. We had a great talk. She is amazing. We love her so much. Her caseworker came and she had to sign some papers saying that she was releasing custody to the agency since the placement paperwork couldn't be signed until 72 hours after the birth. It was a very emotional time and started feeling very real as Julie and I got him dressed and in his car seat.

We went out to eat with Julie and her boyfriend to Dairy Queen so she could show Lucas off to her coworkers. As we said goodbye to her and left in the car, Ryan and I were both so emotional. There we were with this little tiny baby, that such a wonderful young woman had trusted in our care. Wow. We got to my aunt and uncle's and had some alone time, just the three of us. It was amazing. We love this little boy so much. We were able to calm down enough to have dinner and sing happy birthday to Lucas with my extended family. We packed up our stuff and headed to my sister Michelle's for the night. Lucas was so sleepy. I had to set my alarm to wake up to feed him. He is doing so great. We had a busy day today.

We had to find some premie clothes, go to target, take the car back to the rental place (we are borrowing a car from my aunt and uncle), and then Julie and her boyfriend came over to spend some time with Lucas and us. She is doing great. She looks so good for just having a baby, and she says that she is feeling good.

We went to breakfast with Scottie and his family. His mom, who prior to this was against the adoption, was so welcoming and was so happy that we were to be Lucas' parents. She wrote us a long letter expressing that she was happy it was us and that Scottie was making the right choice. It was so great.

We went to a church and did all the paperwork. On the way there, Julie texted us and said "I can't wait to see you all in a little bit! I'm so happy this day is finally here!! The day your family gets a baby. He was totally worth the wait I think!" Wow. We both just started bawling. We have been crying a lot the last few days.

Scottie came in first and we were the witnesses when he signed. Before he signed we gave him a plaster of Lucas' hand that is a Christmas ornament and a frame of a couple pictures of him and Lucas and Lucas' hand and foot print. He was so happy with it. He could barely open them, he was shaking so much. He signed and then left and he got to feed Lucas with Ryan as Julie signed.

Julie came in and had to sign a lot of papers. I was one of the witnesses and her boyfriend Ben. It was a very tender experience watching both Julie and Scottie sign because of their love for Lucas. I was so happy, but my heart was breaking for them. They are amazing. We love them so much. We gave Julie a similar gift and took some pictures and said goodbye.

Words cannot express what joy we are feeling right now as well as how our hearts are so sad for Julie and Scottie. This little boy is so lucky to have so many people who love him.

He is ours! We have been waiting for this miracle for so long and he is finally here. He was worth the wait! We couldn't have asked for a better adoption experience. This was amazing!

Birth parents

Lucas loves his birth parents

"I love my birth mother"

Our adoption is so wonderful because of these two amazing people. The paperwork has been signed and our hearts are breaking for them. We love them so much. We love their families and are so happy to be apart of this miracle. We couldn't have asked for a better adoption. Lucas is one lucky boy to be loved by so many people.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

He is way too cute!

We had to go buy some premie clothes for him today because he is drowning in all his newborn outfits. This outfit is a newborn, but he is just so tiny!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Just pictures of Luke

Thursday, October 14, 2010

He's here!!! And early!!!

Lucas Alexander

Born 10/13/10 10:06 pm

5lbs 13oz

20.5 inches

He is so cute! More details to come... stay tuned!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Last Day of Work

Tuesday is my last day of work. I have been there for exactly 3 years. It has been a great job and I love everyone I work with. They threw me a baby shower and I was so surprised. They are so nice. I got so many great things for this little guy.

One of the doctors that I work with said that they are going to treat me like an athlete retirement: they are not going to replace me, just retire my number.

The other doctor I work with said that he is going to throw a tantrum when I do leave. I told him I could get a cardboard cutout of me and put it next to the x-ray machine. He said that he would just talk to the cardboard cutout and tell it that the new person doesn't do things like me and how he misses the real Alicia.

I will miss that place...but I know that I will love being a mom and this is what I have been dreaming of for so long!

Any day now! We have been in contact with the birth father and have enjoyed getting to know him. We are excited to meet him. "J" is doing great and is getting very anxious for this baby to come. She has been walking like crazy and doing squats and bouncing on a ball. She is so cute! We love her and can't wait to see her again. 8 days until the due date, but it really could be any day now!