He flew to Utah a couple weeks after that. We were just hitting it off so well. One night as we were talking he opened up. I knew that he had had cancer and had been through so much a few years earlier. We had talked about that, but this night he went into much more depth--especially the side effects of all the treatments that he had undergone. He told me how he would probably never be able to have biological children and he asked how I felt about adoption. This kind of shocked me, but I cared about Ryan and wanted to pursue this relationship. I wasn't going to end things because of this news. And adoption had always appealed to me.
We continued our long distance relationship. In June, after about 6 weeks of going back and forth, I made the decision to move to Washington to be closer to him. Timing of the blind date was perfect so that I could make this decision. I had recently graduated from BYU and was working at two part time jobs that I could easily leave. In July I moved to Washington. I found a job and in August Ryan proposed.
We were married in October. From the first date to our wedding was not quite 6 months. I swore I would never do that, oh well, he was the right one, at the right time, in the right place.
We went on a cruise for our honeymoon. It was awesome! 
After being married for about 6 months, we both individually decided that it was time to add to our family of two. We knew that we would need to see the fertility specialist and do in-vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to have a baby. As we went through the IVF treatments, we had all the faith in the world that it was going to happen. The doctor told us that there was not a very good chance, but we had faith. Unfortunately it didn’t work. We were completely heartbroken.
Ryan and I filled out all the paperwork and did all the necessary things to get approved for adoption. After we were approved we told everyone that we knew that we were trying to adopt and asked them to help spread the news. A little over a year after we had been approved we got an email from my aunt who lives in another state. She told me that she knew someone that was pregnant and not married and was considering placing her son for adoption. My aunt had shared with her our blog and information. Our sweet Julie read it and felt like we were to be the parents of her little boy. She emailed a couple of days and we read the sweetest words: “I've read your blog and it really touched me. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I never felt much like it was supposed to be mine. Please let me know if you can consider adopting my son. I know you will be a great choice.” We immediately felt so peaceful. We started emailing back and forth and building a relationship with her. We visited her a few weeks later and she immediately felt like family. About 3 months after she contacted us for the first time, she called us to let us know that the baby was going to be born that day. We jumped on the next flight and made it to the hospital a few hours after our sweet baby Lucas was born.
May 6, 2006: Our first date
August 7, 2006: Ryan proposed
October 20, 2006: We got MARRIED!
April and May 2007: We decide to pursue in-vitro fertilization
May 25, 2007: First appointment with the doctor
June 2007: Start giving myself injections
July 3, 2007: Extraction of 11 eggs. We know there is a very small chance that the sperm will be able to fertilize any eggs.
July 5, 2007: The worst day ever. The IVF didn't work.
August 2007: We buy our first house
October 2007: I get a new job, phew-I didn't like my other job.
December 2007: We want to pursue adoption. LDS Family Services tell us that we have to wait until we have been married for two years.
Summer 2008: We look into the state's foster-adopt program, take some classes, and decide that this is not what we want to do.
November and December 2008: We turn in our adoption paperwork and our reference letters.
January 2009: First appointment with our caseworker.
January and February 2009: Fill out all the rest of the paperwork, put our profile together, make decisions about what preferences we have.
March 2009: Sell our house and move into our new house! Finish financial statement, background checks, fingerprints.
April 24, 2009: Home Study
May 2009: Utah background check (since I lived there in the last five years)
June 15, 2009: Finally we are approved! Our profile goes online. We get a new caseworker.
August 2009: We send out hundreds of pass along cards to family and friends.
October 20, 2009: Celebrate our 3rd anniversary by going on a cruise with my sister and her husband.
November 6-7, 2009: Adoption conference in Portland
January-February, 2010: Emotional roller coaster not ending the way we were hoping for.
March 2010: Slowly getting back to normal life. Hoping, praying, fasting that something will happen soon.
It has been almost 3 years since the IVF, and infertility still kicks my butt even when I don't expect it. I hate it. I am so happy that I have Ryan right by my side during all of this. He is such a great support. Ryan has been amazing and I don't think that I could have gotten through the last year without him. We are so happy together, even through the struggles. We are best friends. I don't know when things will happen, but I do know that if I have Ryan walking with me, we will be happy and strong to endure anything that comes our way.
I how this wait is! I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this!
ReplyDeleteAll I know is that Heavenly Father does have a plan for all of us and spirits that are waiting to join our families.
I hope and pray that this will happen for you sooner than later!
Hang in there!!!