Come and get to know us...

This is our story: Ryan and I were set up on a blind date by my sister and his sister-in-law. I was living in Utah at the time and he was in Washington. We went on a fabulous date to dinner and an Arena football game. It was great and Ryan loved that I knew what was going on and loved sports. At the end of the date he asked if he could see me the next day before I left to go back to Utah. We played games with his family the next night and had a great time. We talked for a long time that night and wondered when we could see each other again. And he kissed me good night!
Ryan called me every day that week and one day he asked if I would go to a concert with him on a Tuesday night. I didn't think there was anyway that I could fly up and go, but I worked it out that I would fly there on Tuesday and fly back to Utah on Wednesday. It was great to see him again. He flew to Utah a couple weeks after that. We were just hitting it off so well. One night as we were talking he opened up. I knew that he had had cancer and had been through so much a few years earlier. We had talked about that, but this night he went into much more depth--especially the side effects of all the treatments that he had undergone. He told me how he would probably never be able to have biological children and he asked how I felt about adoption. This kind of shocked me, but I cared about Ryan and wanted to pursue this relationship. I wasn't going to end things because of this news. And adoption had always appealed to me.
We continued our long distance relationship. In June, after about 6 weeks of going back and forth, I made the decision to move to Washington to be closer to him. Timing of the blind date was perfect so that I could make this decision. I had recently graduated from BYU and was working at two part time jobs that I could easily leave. In July I moved to Washington. I found a job and in August Ryan proposed. We were married in October. From the first date to our wedding was not quite 6 months. I swore I would never do that, oh well, he was the right one, at the right time, in the right place. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon. It was awesome! After being married for about 6 months, we both individually decided that it was time to add to our family of two. We knew that we would need to see the fertility specialist and do in-vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to have a baby. As we went through the IVF treatments, we had all the faith in the world that it was going to happen. The doctor told us that there was not a very good chance, but we had faith. Unfortunately it didn’t work. We were completely heartbroken.
Over the next few months we had to grieve with the loss of the child we never had.
We eventually felt blessed that without being married a year, we knew that we were infertile and didn't have to deal with the month to month pain of not being pregnant. By the end of the year we were ready to start the adoption process. When we called LDS Family Services, they told us that we would have to wait until we had been married for two years before we could proceed. We asked for them to make a special exception, but they couldn't. So we waited.
Ryan and I filled out all the paperwork and did all the necessary things to get approved for adoption. After we were approved we told everyone that we knew that we were trying to adopt and asked them to help spread the news. A little over a year after we had been approved we got an email from my aunt who lives in another state. She told me that she knew someone that was pregnant and not married and was considering placing her son for adoption. My aunt had shared with her our blog and information. Our sweet Julie read it and felt like we were to be the parents of her little boy. She emailed a couple of days and we read the sweetest words: “I've read your blog and it really touched me. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I never felt much like it was supposed to be mine. Please let me know if you can consider adopting my son. I know you will be a great choice.” We immediately felt so peaceful. We started emailing back and forth and building a relationship with her. We visited her a few weeks later and she immediately felt like family. About 3 months after she contacted us for the first time, she called us to let us know that the baby was going to be born that day. We jumped on the next flight and made it to the hospital a few hours after our sweet baby Lucas was born.
We spent time in the hospital with Julie and we met Lucas’ birthfather. We had a great time getting to know him and his family. We really cherished the time that we got to spend with Julie and Scottie and their families. When Lucas was 11 days old we flew home to Washington. We were so happy to be a family of 3!
Lucas is such a happy boy. We love being his parents! He is now 2 years old. We are now hoping to add another child to our family. We want him to be a big brother.



We have met with our caseworker and filled all the necessary paperwork and completed the background checks. We are now approved for adoption and looking for our next child! We are so excited for what the future will bring!
"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." -Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin "Come What May, and Love It"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

And God remembered Rachel


This is something that I have been thinking a lot about the last few weeks. I have read this passage of scriptures in Genesis 29-30 and thought about what it means to me.


Jacob served Laban for seven years so that he could marry his daughter, Rachel. Laban kind of tricked Jacob and had him marry his other daughter Leah. Jacob worked another seven years ("and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had for her") in order to marry Rachel. Leah gave birth to three sons. Rachel envied Leah and said unto Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die." Leah subsequently bore two more sons and a daughter.


A quote from this talk by Elder Spencer J. Condie is:

"In this age of one-hour dry cleaning and one-minute fast food franchises, it may at times seem to us as though a loving Heavenly Father has misplaced our precious promises or He has put them on hold or filed them under the wrong name. Such were the feelings of Rachel.


"But with the passage of time, we encounter four of the most beautiful words in holy writ: "And God remembered Rachel" (Genesis 30:22). And she was blessed with the birth of Joseph and later the birth of Benjamin...When heaven's promises sometimes seem afar off, I pray that each of us will embrace these exceeding great and precious promises and never let go. And just as God remembered Rachel, God will remember you."


We have been trying to be parents for over three years. It hasn't happened yet. I have seen countless friends and family members have one or two children in the last few years, while we remain childless.


And God remembered Alicia. I have thought of three ways that this might happen.


1) We will become miraculously pregnant


2) We will be miraculously chosen by a courageous young woman to adopt her baby


3) I will miraculously change my dreams of being a mother and be content and feel complete with just the two of us.


The third one is probably the most difficult for me to believe will ever happen; I want to be a mother, I have always wanted to be a mother. I don't think that is ever going to change.

So that leaves me with the first two. Both would be miracles. We believe in miracles.


Every night as I fall asleep, I cross my fingers. I am always hoping that the next day will bring good news. Someday soon that good news will come.


God remembered Rachel. . . And God will remember us.
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10 comments:

  1. ShirleyJuly 16, 2010 at 5:33 AM

    WOW! What an honest and real post. You are amazing and truly an example of pure faith. Please know that Brooks, I and my kids REMEMBER you and Ryan. We continue to pray for you and love you!

    Shirley

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  2. Mo-ReenJuly 16, 2010 at 8:24 AM

    Your post made me cry! I am so proud of you, buddy. I know you have waited so long and have been so patient. God will remember you and we will be so happy for you when your miracle comes! Love you!!!

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  3. You Are My FaveJuly 16, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    A few things:
    I'm sitting here trying to compose myself after reading that. I'm looking through blurry eyes to the computer screen.

    You've always been a tremendous example of faith to me.

    There's not a day that goes by that I don't think and pray for you.

    Love you.

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  4. MJuly 16, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    What a beautiful, heartfelt post. I believe in miracles, too, Alicia! We're hoping that you and Ryan can have everything that you want in life.

    -Monica

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  5. Kelly SmithJuly 17, 2010 at 5:56 AM

    love you, and pray for you both everyday.

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  6. BrookaliciousJuly 17, 2010 at 12:24 PM

    Alicia,

    I think about that story alot too. Great post! I know it can be so hard sometimes. We will be praying for you!

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  7. UnknownJuly 18, 2010 at 3:30 PM

    Great post and well said. I've been thinking about you guys a lot lately. I'm very optimistic and hopeful. I feel like something good is coming. There are probably days you feel that way and days when you don't...I guess only the Lord knows what is coming for sure. I have been praying for you guys to have understanding along this journey and if it's his will to have a baby come soon.

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  8. Renee' PJuly 27, 2010 at 10:05 AM

    Loved your post! I know how you feel! It took us three yrs until we got a baby. Something to think about....Foster-Adopt?
    That's the route we went and we've adopted two beautiful children. It's not a for sure thing, but it's another option.
    I too prayed for miracles every day! It will happen (one way or another)!
    It's all God's timing...I hated hearing that while waiting for a baby. It's easier for me to say that now that I have children.
    You seem like a wonderful, strong couple and God has you in his sights! I pray for you guys every now and then and always hope to see that next post involve a baby!
    Hang in there! Stay close to the Lord and he will get you through this :)

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  9. SPAugust 17, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    Can you send me a card that I can give to someone I may see in the future that has your name, picture and contact info? I've done that for my cousin and thought of you when I saw a very young pregnant teen in the store the other day.

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  10. AnonymousOctober 19, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    And now in less time then it takes for "birth" parents to carry to term, you are parents just 3 months later! God is great in many wonderful ways! I was so pleased and excited to meet Luke and you two. I so look forward to seeing him grow!

    ReplyDelete

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