He flew to Utah a couple weeks after that. We were just hitting it off so well. One night as we were talking he opened up. I knew that he had had cancer and had been through so much a few years earlier. We had talked about that, but this night he went into much more depth--especially the side effects of all the treatments that he had undergone. He told me how he would probably never be able to have biological children and he asked how I felt about adoption. This kind of shocked me, but I cared about Ryan and wanted to pursue this relationship. I wasn't going to end things because of this news. And adoption had always appealed to me.
We continued our long distance relationship. In June, after about 6 weeks of going back and forth, I made the decision to move to Washington to be closer to him. Timing of the blind date was perfect so that I could make this decision. I had recently graduated from BYU and was working at two part time jobs that I could easily leave. In July I moved to Washington. I found a job and in August Ryan proposed.
We were married in October. From the first date to our wedding was not quite 6 months. I swore I would never do that, oh well, he was the right one, at the right time, in the right place.
We went on a cruise for our honeymoon. It was awesome! 
After being married for about 6 months, we both individually decided that it was time to add to our family of two. We knew that we would need to see the fertility specialist and do in-vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to have a baby. As we went through the IVF treatments, we had all the faith in the world that it was going to happen. The doctor told us that there was not a very good chance, but we had faith. Unfortunately it didn’t work. We were completely heartbroken.
Ryan and I filled out all the paperwork and did all the necessary things to get approved for adoption. After we were approved we told everyone that we knew that we were trying to adopt and asked them to help spread the news. A little over a year after we had been approved we got an email from my aunt who lives in another state. She told me that she knew someone that was pregnant and not married and was considering placing her son for adoption. My aunt had shared with her our blog and information. Our sweet Julie read it and felt like we were to be the parents of her little boy. She emailed a couple of days and we read the sweetest words: “I've read your blog and it really touched me. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I never felt much like it was supposed to be mine. Please let me know if you can consider adopting my son. I know you will be a great choice.” We immediately felt so peaceful. We started emailing back and forth and building a relationship with her. We visited her a few weeks later and she immediately felt like family. About 3 months after she contacted us for the first time, she called us to let us know that the baby was going to be born that day. We jumped on the next flight and made it to the hospital a few hours after our sweet baby Lucas was born.
As we were deciding to adopt, we automatically thought of LDS Family Services. We knew some about their services, but as we have gone through the approval process, we have understood more and more about what they do. We are grateful for LDS Family Services and the workers. After expensive fertility treatments, we knew that LDSFS adoptions were subsidized by tithing and are so grateful for that or else I think we would have to waited a lot longer to save enough money.
LDSFS has a new, revamped website called Its About Love
Here are some excerpts from a great article on the new website:
Not just an adoption-only resource, ItsAboutLove.org includes content on single parenting, marriage, abortion and adoption. It includes information about pregnancy trimesters, answers frequently asked questions about pregnancy and adoption, and dispels many myths. While the LDS Church opposes abortion -- with possible exception to extreme circumstances -- and strongly supports two-parent families, alternatives like abortion and single parenting are discussed because "making a good decision means honestly considering all possible options," the Web site states. "The greatest peace of mind comes from the certainty that you have been thorough and honest in considering every possibility."
While the changes are clearly attracting new individuals to the site, the agency is far from abandoning its roots. ItsAboutLove.org also includes updated resources for expectant mothers and fathers who plan to place their child with an adoptive family. Videos from birth mothers offer real-life stories and experiences. Couples looking to adopt a child also benefit from the new site and its increased capabilities.
Unlike the old Web site, ItsAboutLove.org includes information for everyone impacted by an unexpected pregnancy.
Unlike the old Web site, ItsAboutLove.org includes information for everyone impacted by an unexpected pregnancy.
"My Pregnancy," "What Are My Options?" and "Real-Life Stories" are geared mainly toward expectant mothers. "Our Daughter is Pregnant" reaches out to parents. "My Girlfriend is Pregnant" supplies information and lends support to birth fathers.
Hi Alicia! My name is Sadie, my husband and I are really good friends with Ben and Taraka (Tucker is our Godson.) Taraka has talked to me many times about your journey to adoption. My husband and I are also adopting. We tried fertility treatments as well with no success and are currently waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. You can view our adoption portfolio at: http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/0/095460BDE86CDA508525766200603DAD
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your blog, it makes me know there is someone else out there who understandings what we are going through. The unique combination of loss of a dream, but excitement for a new dream. My email address is skgrind@yahoo.com if you ever want to talk!
Thanks, Sadie