Hope is the anchor of my soul

Family and friends often ask us how the adoption process is going. I am always happy that they are thinking about us, but sad that there is currently nothing to report. We have been "trying" for baby #2 for 2 years. We haven't had any kind of contact from an expectant parent in almost a year. It is hard not having any control over when we are going to be able to add to our family. We continue to hope and pray that we will be blessed with more children.

One year ago I posted my thoughts about infertility and the emotional roller coaster of adoption. A slew of birth and pregnancy announcements have been made since then. I continue to try to not let it affect me, but it is hard. My newest nephews (now 15 months and 7 months) that I wanted our next child to be close in age to are now growing up. I wanted to be wrong about our chance to have a child closer in age, but it looks like I was right. A few months ago my sister called me out of the blue. She was miraculously pregnant. With her first child they had to use fertility treatments. Her son was born right we when got approved for the second time. I am so so so happy for her. There are other pregnancy miracles that I have been made aware of recently.  In some of not my best moments I wonder, "Where is our miracle?" I am not proud of those thoughts and get down on myself for them. I know that I can't tell God what to bless me with and when. But I also know that "Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you."

In my last post (6 months ago), I talked about waiting patiently as Lucas grows up. He is now 3. He is potty trained and he is in a big boy bed. He is now a Sunbeam at church. All things that scared me because I didn't want him to grow up so fast especially because he doesn't have a sibling yet. These were all exciting things and I am so proud of my big boy. Now I have moved on to being anxious about him giving up naps, going to preschool, and eventually school. Once again exciting things, but hard on me because it means he is growing up. He prays everyday: "Please bless that we can get a baby." If we don't say it in our prayers, he quickly reminds us to say it. What a sweet boy. We sure love him and he brings us so much joy even if he is growing up too fast.

Lucas at the dentist for the first time. He did so well!

So what do I do? How do I continue to (try to) wait patiently?

I have been focusing on HOPE. "Hope for a better world," "having a perfect brightness of hope," and having "hope smiling brightly before us." I have a Hope wall next to my bed with quotes about hope to help me "trust in happier days ahead."

Whenever we begin to feel

 as if we can no longer go on

HOPE whispers in our ears

to remind us that we are STRONG

----Robert M Hensel

Don't you give up.

Don't you quit.

You keep walking.

You keep trying.

There is help and happiness ahead....

It will be all right in the end.

Trust God

and believe in

good things to come.

-----Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings a tune-without the words

And never stops at all.

----Emily Dickinson

Hope anchors the soul.

----Hebrews 6:19

A quote that has been running through my head over and over is "The Lord's delays often seem long; some last a lifetime. But they are always calculated to bless. They need never be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience." I have been trying to figure out how I can make this time to not be lonely or sorrowful and help myself to be patient. This is especially hard during the dreary winter months. I try to stay busy. I make goals for myself to achieve. I play with Lucas. I go to an exercise class. I study the scriptures and conference talks. I serve in my callings. I have something to look forward to (right now it is the Super Bowl--Go Seahawks!)

There are definite times of loneliness and sorrow and impatience, but I would like to think that I am improving. I sure hope I am. My home screen on my phone says: "Believe in miracles" and I do. There are miracles out there for our family. And it will be wonderful and exactly how it is supposed to turn out.

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Waiting patiently while Lucas is growing up

Lucas is going to turn 3 in less than 3 months. We have now been approved for longer than it took with finding and getting Lucas. My heart is sometimes very anxious. I feel like some of this stems from thinking about how big Lucas is getting. He is learning so much and becoming such a big boy. And it is so exciting! Today I looked at him and wondered to myself, "When did he get to be such a big boy?" I have been thinking about potty training and moving him to a bed. I look forward to those things, but it also pains me. I always imagined having more than one child in diapers. I always imagined Lucas moving from his crib to a bed because a litle brother or sister needed the crib. This is not the case. And it makes me sad. I feel anxiety because I see him growing up so much and he doesn't have a sibling to share his childhood with yet.

Oh my heart.

I have been trying to be in patient in all of this. I don't think I have done a very good job. I am so happy to be Lucas' mother. And I find joy and happiness everyday. When I start to get anxious about not having another child by now, I try to look at him, really look at him, and play with him and be there for him. I am doing a better job lately. I have read a talk by President Henry B. Eyring multiple times recently and it has given me some insight and helped me feel that all will be okay even if I don't have 2 kids in diapers or Lucas moves into a big boy bed.

The talk is called "Where is the Pavillion?" given in the October 2012 conference.

"Abraham’s heart seems to have been right long before Sarah conceived Isaac and before they received their promised land. Heaven had other purposes to fulfill first. Those purposes included not only building Abraham and Sarah’s faith but also teaching them eternal truths that they shared with others on their long, circuitous route to the land prepared for them. The Lord’s delays often seem long; some last a lifetime. But they are always calculated to bless. They need never be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience."

I feel so much strength and my patience is increased when I read "the Lord's delays often seem long...but they are always calculated to bless. They need never be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience." I am trying to find other ways to fill my time. I need to serve more and bless others around me.

"Although His time is not always our time, we can be sure that the Lord keeps His promises."

I know that He will keep His promises to me. A few months ago I was just starting to read the Book of Mormon again. We read about the Nephites traveling to the Promised Land.

1 Nephi 2:20 And inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall prosper, and shall be led to a land of promise; yea, even a land which I have prepared for you; yea, a land which is choice above all other lands.

1 Nephi 7:12-13 the Lord is able to do all things‍ according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith‍ in him...let us be faithful to him. And if it so be that we are faithful to him, we shall obtain the land of promise...

I have a couple of different "lands of promise." My current land of promise that I am trying to reach is adopting another child. The Lord will lead us to a land that He has prepared for us. The Lord has a plan in store for us. There are more children out there for us. As we are faithful, we will prosper, children will come, we will be blessed. And we will reach our land of promise. It wasn't easy for Nephi. There were problems along the way. He even had to build his own ship, but the Lord led and guided him and they reached the land of promise. It may not (and has not) been easy for us. Time has gone by and we had to redo paperwork and background checks and renew our home study, but the Lord is helping us build our ship. He is leading and guiding us. And we are promised as we are faithful we will prosper and be led to our land of promise.

I was preparing a lesson for my primary class this last week and I read this scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 98:1-3:

Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;
Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament--the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.
Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord.

My heart is comforted. I am giving thanks for the amazing blessings that I have received, especially to be Lucas' mother. I know that the Lord hears every single one of our prayers. And in every single one we ask Him to bless the birth parents of our next child to be led to us and recognize us and for us to be able to add to our family and Lucas to be a big brother.

We may not know when it will happen, but it will happen and we are looking forward to that, but we have learned recently to "wait patiently on the Lord" for his promises are always fulfilled.

Why my fingers are still crossed

Our family triangle: Ryan cuddling on me and Lucas cuddling on daddy with his feet on me.
We want to be a family square soon!

We have now been approved to adopt a second child for one whole year. We recently filled out more paperwork and had our fingerprints taken to keep our profile active. This last year was a little easier (for the most part) than the first time that we were trying to adopt. We have been parents for 2 1/2 years and love being Lucas' parents. We love seeing him learn and grow each day. We have that blessing of being parents already and so that has been one thing that made this last year a little easier. A little over a year of being approved last time I wrote this post about God remembering Rachel and how He would remember me. At the end of that post I wrote, "Every night as I fall asleep, I cross my fingers. I am always hoping that the next day will bring good news. Someday soon that good news will come." Two days after that post we received the email from Julie asking if we would consider adopting her son!
I find myself crossing my fingers more and more lately and hoping that the good news will come soon.Very recently we had an experience that gave us so much hope that we would be able to adopt a second child very soon. We started thinking that this was going to happen and although we didn't want to get too excited, we started thinking about and planning our future with this child. We felt rejection, sadness, and loneliness when the couple chose another family to adopt that child. We hope that things work out for them and their little girl. This is the way that adoption goes. I have been reading other couple's adoption stories. I don't know why some adoptions happen so quickly and some take years. It is a process and it is hard to compare one adoption experience to another. But I know that the child that is meant to be in our family will be. God has a plan for our family. We are very hopeful that we will be able to adopt again soon. We hope that Lucas will be a big brother soon. We don't know when that will happen, but we will continue to be hopeful and cross our fingers that the day will be soon.
It seems as though Lucas has picked up on crossing his fingers. We find him crossing his fingers sometimes too. The other day he announced to us that he wants a baby sister. Maybe he knows something we don't know. We aren't picky though, it doesn't have to be a girl, we would welcome a boy or a girl with open arms and grateful hearts.
My fingers are crossed.

Reflections: Surviving Infertility and as an Adoptive Mother

We have been approved to adopt a second child for 9 months now. It took us 4 months to get approved. If we had been pregnant, we would be snuggling a little baby now. I wrote the following a couple of months ago. It was therapeutic writing down some of the feelings I was having and have. I debated about whether or not share this, but I decided to let others glimpse into what it is like to deal with infertility and the adoption process.

 

 Sometimes infertility slaps me in the face. I am not expecting it and boom, there it is. It is unbearable. I seem to suck in oxygen, but stop breathing all at the same time. The uncontrollable sobs don't stop for a long time. There is a lot of ugly crying when dealing with infertility and the emotional roller coaster surrounding adoption.

 There are times when I am fine when going to a baby shower or to see a new baby. But there are other times when I have to make an excuse not to go. There are times when I feel fine to go, but then as I leave, my heart breaks a little and my body betrays me and I have to drive for an hour before I can get control of myself. When there is a group of women together, lots of times the topic turns to pregnancy and childbirth. Once again there are times when I am okay with this. I have heard it all, I have 6 sisters! But then there are times when I need to step away from the conversation because I don't always trust my heart to take it in.

 My sister-in-law just had her 5th child. I babysat her kids while she was in the hospital. I took her 4 children to the hospital to see their new baby brother. I was so happy and excited for their family. Their faces lit up like it was Christmas when they saw their baby brother. As I drove them home in their minivan, my throat seemed to close up and the tears started to come. This was a slap in the face. I really was so happy for them, but then the thoughts of infertility came into my mind. I will never have the "hospital" experience when people can come see my new baby. I may never be able to fill a minivan with kids. Yes, I have my little boy, and I am so so so happy about that! I know he is such a miracle and I am so grateful everyday for him.

 Another sister-in-law recently told us, after a very emotional week following the funerals of 2 family members, that they were expecting baby #5. Cue the tears and ugly sob. I am so happy for them, but the thoughts of when it will happen for me can't be stopped.  It is so hard not knowing if and when another child will come to us. Both of these sisters-in-law were pregnant and had babies in the time that we were approved and looking for Lucas. Their children are 1.5 and 1 year older than Lucas. When they told us that time, we were so happy for them and happy that maybe we would adopt a baby in that time frame and they would all be really close in age. As they grew older and older, I got more depressed that our child would not be the same age. This time around, maybe I am more jaded, but I feel like there goes our chance again to get a baby close in age to their children.

 Sometimes men don't understand. I love my husband so much and could not have made it through all this and continue to make it through this without his help. He is so wonderful. He understands the deep yearning feeling that I have to be a mom, but doesn't always know what to say or do when I vent about these feelings. These are natural feelings for a woman and they aren't just going to go away. I think that men and women deal with infertility in a totally different way. I am not sure if the infertility slap happens for men, but I know how real it is for me.

 I see women all around me with new babies or pregnant bellies. Some of them on the second, third, fourth, even fifth babies. I am ready for another baby. I want Lucas to be a big brother. I want my children to be close in age, like I am with my sisters.

 This is hard. It is so hard. But I am grateful for it. I wouldn't have Lucas without all of this. He brings me so much joy.

 

  Adoption is a hard thing too. The waiting and wondering and waiting. Last year we were contacted by someone and got our hopes up that we would be able to adopt again. We found out that she was lying to us about being pregnant and just wanted attention. That made us feel embarrassed and sad and angry and very skeptical. We worry that we are not cool enough, or cute enough, or make enough money. Sometimes it feels like we are getting rejected over and over. On our profile we can see how many views each section gets. Before Lucas I would look almost daily, but this time around I know better. I only look every few weeks. This time it is a lot easier on our patience. We have Lucas and we are parents. Waiting so long before to be parents was so hard. This time around we are more patient and don't think about it every second of every day. We are trying to be hopeful. We know that things will work out, maybe not the way that we planned, but they will work out how they are supposed to.

 I have been listening to this song by Hilary Weeks. These lyrics really touch some of the feelings that I have.

 

I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

 

 

All of this is worth it. It is our beautiful heartbreak.

Bust a Myth

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. RESOLVE has encouraged people to bust some myths surrounding infertility and I decided to weigh in.

Myth #1: "So and so had cancer and they were able to have 3 children after."

I know that you are well meaning, but this is not our case. It kind of hurts when people say this. It is almost like saying to a cancer patient, "My aunt had cancer and died last year." You don't want to hear that. Ryan's cancer was probably very different than so and so and because of that we are never going to be able to have biological children.

Myth #2 "Just adopt and then you will get pregnant."

First off, don't ever say JUST adopt. Deciding to adopt should be proceeded by many serious discussions. It is not easy. There are mounds of paperwork that need to be filled out and it took us months and months to finally get approved. After we were approved there was a lot of time that went by that nothing happened and we were on an emotional roller coaster. We have been blessed with a miracle named Lucas and his amazing birth family, but it didn't come until after a lot of time and trial.
Secondly, not everyone that adopt gets pregnant. I know that there are couples that do and that is amazing, but we hear about those stories because they are amazing. There are plenty more couples that adopt and never get pregnant.


Infertility is something that I will always deal with. Yes, I know that we have been so blessed and that we have a perfect little baby now, but infertility creeps up on me every so often and I have to find ways to deal with it. Adoption is not a cure for infertility, it is a cure for childlessness. There is a quote by Barbara Eck Manning that says:

My infertility resides in my heart as an old friend. I do not hear from it for weeks at a time, and then, a moment, a thought, a baby announcement or some such thing, and I will feel the tug-maybe even be sad or shed a few tears. And I think, "There's my old friend." It will always be part of me...

We have been "lucky" in a sense that we know the cause of our infertility and that we haven't had the month to month disappointment. We still deal with it sometimes and it still hurts, not as much, but it is still there at times.

After I told someone last week that Lucas was adopted she asked if I had children of my own too. I took a deep breath in and said that he is ours and that he is our miracle. Look at that face, he is a miracle and we are so grateful for his wonderful birth family.

Lucas is the best

Lucas is a great, great, great baby.

New Posts on his blog if you are curious!

Angel

There are no words for how precious this little guy is!

Big weekend

Tomorrow we are going to the courthouse and finalizing our adoption! He will be officially ours. The name on his birth certificate now says Baby Boy Z. and so it will be changed to Lucas Alexander N.

On Saturday we are going to take Lucas to the temple and be sealed to him! Ryan's dad is in the temple presidency and will be able to perform the sealing.

On Sunday he will be blessed in our church.

It is going to be the best weekend ever. We have family members from very far here and are so happy that they can share with us this very special time. We are so excited!

Baby Shower

My sister, Melanie, was in town this weekend for the purpose of snuggling with Baby Lucas and throwing him a shower. She is amazing. She loves throwing parties and is so good at it. You can check out her blog for Part 1 and Part 2 of the shower.

It was a great party. So many people came and were so nice. He was given so many wonderful things. Lucas is loved by so many. He was a perfect baby the entire shower as he was passed around. We had a fabulous time! Thanks Mel, you are the best!

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month!

We love our little guy so much. We are so grateful for adoption. We are grateful to Lucas' amazing birth parents who placed him with us. It is a miracle.

Hopefully adoption will be an option for more and more people.

A quote from Elder Russell M. Nelson from a talk that he gave about abortion:

Why destroy a life that could bring great joy to others? There are better ways of dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. When a life is created by sinful behavior, the best way to begin personal repentance is to preserve the life of that child. To add another serious sin to a serious sin already committed only compounds the grief. Adoption is a wonderful alternative to abortion. Both the baby and the adoptive parents can be greatly blessed by the adoption of that baby into a home where the child will be lovingly nurtured and where the blessings of the gospel will be available.

“We … express our support of unwed parents who place their children for adoption in stable homes with a mother and a father. We also express our support of the married mothers and fathers who adopt these children.

“Children are entitled to the blessing of being reared in a stable family environment where father and mother honor marital vows. Having a secure, nurturing, and consistent relationship with both a father and a mother is essential to a child’s well-being. When choosing adoption, unwed parents grant their children this most important blessing. Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses the child, birth parents, and adoptive parents in this life and throughout the eternities. We commend all those who strengthen children and families by promoting adoption.”

Sneak Peek

Ryan's sister, Marianne, is an amazing photographer. She took some pictures of Lucas yesterday and they turned out so well.

This morning as I was feeding Lucas, I turned to Ryan and asked if he could have gotten cuter since the last time I fed him, because I think he was!

Home Sweet Home

Calm baby with all the commotion of meeting family

Jane (18 months) and Lucas

Happy Grandparents!

Our happy family

We made it home! Lucas was so great for the flight. He ate as we were taking off, then slept, and ate as we were landing. We were so happy we had a direct flight (and only because some sweet talking by Ryan to a customer service employee). We had many family members come to see Lucas at the airport and then also he met some other aunts, uncles, and cousins after.

We are so happy to be home!

I started another blog for Lucas and his updates.

One week old

Lucas is one week old and is doing great. We feel so blessed to have him in our family. He is a great baby. Ryan had to go home on Monday, but will be back Friday. We can't wait! It has been hard being apart. We celebrated our 4th anniversary yesterday apart, so hopefully we will have a chance to celebrate it together.

We just got cleared by the Interstate Child Placement Compact (ICPC-adoption laws between the states) and so even though we could have gone home yesterday, we are waiting until Sunday. We are so excited to go home and our families couldn't be more thrilled!

We love baby Lucas!

The Lucas Alexander story

Tuesday was my last day of work. I was so happy to be done and have a few days to get ready before I left for the baby. I slept in a little, exercised, and after I showered, Julie called. She told us that she would text us after her appointment. She was crying and scared because the doctor was nervous that the baby wasn't growing. They did a ultrasound and decided that she needed to go to the hospital and be induced. I asked her what she wanted me to do, and I said that we would get on the next plane. I called Ryan and he was just about to go into a test. He said that he would take his test and then immediately come home. I don't think he remembers anything on his test. I called my sister Nicole, she didn't answer, I texted her, she didn't answer. I needed someone, I was so stressed and trying to figure out what to do. I was so excited, but I was having a breakdown. I called Nicole again and she answered and said she would be over to help pack. Ryan's mom headed over as well. We got things packed and figured out a flight that worked well and didn't cost as much as we would have thought for being the same day. Ryan got home and we got everything ready. We got a call from the airline, the plane was delayed which meant we would miss our connecting flight. She said that we could stay overnight in Phoneix or leave the next day. I told her that the baby we were adopting was coming today and I needed to get there asap. She worked on getting me a ticket on another airline, it left an hour later, and got us there earlier, and it didn't cost the $1300 that it was online. We flew and surprisingly enough, I slept on the plane (I can sleep anywhere, anytime). When we landed in Salt Lake for our 45 minute layover, I got a text...Julie was at a 7. We had the next flight and got on thinking that by the time we landed the baby could have been born. We landed at 11:26 and I got a text saying the baby had been born. I called immediately. He had been born at 10:06 and was 5 lbs 13 oz. We got some pictures texted to us. He was so precious We were so excited. And so happy that baby and Julie were healthy.


We ran to the rental car place. We had made a reservation for a rental and we told them our situation and they upgraded us to a bigger car. (We saw the same girl that upgraded us today when we dropped off the car and showed her Lucas, she was very excited). We punched the hospital address into the GPS and headed over to the hospital. We met up with Julie's mom and she brought us into see Julie and the baby. It was such a beautiful sight. We couldn't stop smiling. It was amazing! We stayed for an hour or so. We talked about names and Julie mentioned that she really liked Lucas. One of our top names was Luke. We headed to my aunt and uncle's house around 2:30. We were in bed, but neither of us were asleep. Julie texted us at 3:30 saying that she had a long conversation with the baby and he liked the name Luke or Lucas. Ryan had just been thinking about Lucas and that is when we decided that was to be his name.


The next day was a very long day. We got to the hospital and there were a string of many visitors all day long. Scottie, the birth father, was there and we got to meet him and spend the whole day with him. We met so much of Julie's family as well as Scottie's. It was amazing. We talked about open adoption and how Lucas has so many people that love him so much. Scottie's mom and sister were just crying so much. They didn't think that they would ever see this little guy again. It was very emotional intense, but they really like us and believe that we will be great parents to Lucas. We had some alone time with Scottie and he told us that he had made the decision to place and was happy with his decision. He really liked us and said that it couldn't have been anyone else. It was a long and wonderful day. We were emotionally drained.


The nursing staff was so great. They all were aware of the adoption plan and accomodated us and made Julie so comfortable. We were so impressed. We spent the next several hours with Julie and no one else came. Lucas had his circumsion, so it was just Julie and Ryan and I. We had a great talk. She is amazing. We love her so much. Her caseworker came and she had to sign some papers saying that she was releasing custody to the agency since the placement paperwork couldn't be signed until 72 hours after the birth. It was a very emotional time and started feeling very real as Julie and I got him dressed and in his car seat.


We went out to eat with Julie and her boyfriend to Dairy Queen so she could show Lucas off to her coworkers. As we said goodbye to her and left in the car, Ryan and I were both so emotional. There we were with this little tiny baby, that such a wonderful young woman had trusted in our care. Wow. We got to my aunt and uncle's and had some alone time, just the three of us. It was amazing. We love this little boy so much. We were able to calm down enough to have dinner and sing happy birthday to Lucas with my extended family. We packed up our stuff and headed to my sister Michelle's for the night. Lucas was so sleepy. I had to set my alarm to wake up to feed him. He is doing so great. We had a busy day today.



We had to find some premie clothes, go to target, take the car back to the rental place (we are borrowing a car from my aunt and uncle), and then Julie and her boyfriend came over to spend some time with Lucas and us. She is doing great. She looks so good for just having a baby, and she says that she is feeling good.

We went to breakfast with Scottie and his family. His mom, who prior to this was against the adoption, was so welcoming and was so happy that we were to be Lucas' parents. She wrote us a long letter expressing that she was happy it was us and that Scottie was making the right choice. It was so great.


We went to a church and did all the paperwork. On the way there, Julie texted us and said "I can't wait to see you all in a little bit! I'm so happy this day is finally here!! The day your family gets a baby. He was totally worth the wait I think!" Wow. We both just started bawling. We have been crying a lot the last few days.

Scottie came in first and we were the witnesses when he signed. Before he signed we gave him a plaster of Lucas' hand that is a Christmas ornament and a frame of a couple pictures of him and Lucas and Lucas' hand and foot print. He was so happy with it. He could barely open them, he was shaking so much. He signed and then left and he got to feed Lucas with Ryan as Julie signed.

Julie came in and had to sign a lot of papers. I was one of the witnesses and her boyfriend Ben. It was a very tender experience watching both Julie and Scottie sign because of their love for Lucas. I was so happy, but my heart was breaking for them. They are amazing. We love them so much. We gave Julie a similar gift and took some pictures and said goodbye.

Words cannot express what joy we are feeling right now as well as how our hearts are so sad for Julie and Scottie. This little boy is so lucky to have so many people who love him.

He is ours! We have been waiting for this miracle for so long and he is finally here. He was worth the wait! We couldn't have asked for a better adoption experience. This was amazing!

Birth parents

Lucas loves his birth parents

"I love my birth mother"

Our adoption is so wonderful because of these two amazing people. The paperwork has been signed and our hearts are breaking for them. We love them so much. We love their families and are so happy to be apart of this miracle. We couldn't have asked for a better adoption. Lucas is one lucky boy to be loved by so many people.

He is way too cute!

We had to go buy some premie clothes for him today because he is drowning in all his newborn outfits. This outfit is a newborn, but he is just so tiny!

Just pictures of Luke